Obama and Triathlon

So you don't expect to see Obama and Triathlon in the same sentence. Nor do you expect to hear McCain for that matter. But I pose a question to anyone who will be open minded.

What if we do to triathlon what Obama wants to do to the economy?????

1. Race fees would be optional for the poor or maybe even the slower athletes. Afterall, the more wealthy and or faster athletes that work extra hard would pay higher fees and cover (let's be accurate!) 95+% of the race expences. Yeh.......that is fair.

2. Race venues would have to be fair to all. So let us put most of the races in crappy neighborhoods. The idea would be to promote our sport to the less affluent (which I am all for) But at the end of the race, your brand spanken new $5,000 time trial bike would be donated by a government official to one of these less fortunate observers!!! And who knows how they would use it. They may go to a PAWN shop and do whatever they want with the money you were just forced to give them. Gotta love redistribution.....

3. Sponsorships would have to be fair as well. So they would be free to all comers (I mean those that made less than a government sponsored income level)! No money needed!! Woohoo for the corporate dollars! Remember the wealthy pa.rticipants are covering the race fees. I just hope we do not get salmonella or staph poisoning from the up-start sponsors in our pre-race pasta dinners (that might just turn into Guito's "what the hell is that" pre-race dinner). And maybe we will get a widget in our race bags. Somebody will find a use for it. It doesn't have to be anything useful for goodness sake.

4. While out on the course, there might be some changes too. Afterall it wouldn't be fair to have everyone do the same tough course. If you couln't train as much, you could opt for less laps on the course. BUT!!! The great thing would be you would be eligible for the same prizes. Pretty soon...........the guy who does the 25yd swim/2mile bike/100yd dash would be winning Ironman Hawaii!! In record time no doubt!! There will be hope for everyone (we all know a true triathlete envisions themselves as a future pro)!!!

5. Awards????? Of course, in all fairness, EVERONE will get one. You can gain pride in your accomplishments no matter how much you suck!!! We can all be 6 year olds again when everyone got a participation ribbon..............AHHHHH HOW NICE.........I love Obama.

6...........any other suggestions from people out there???? I can not wait to vote tomorrow!!!!